Life is the Practice of Continuously Letting Go

Yesterday we found out that we HAVE to move out of our current home where we have been for the past two years in 60 days.  My due date with baby girl number 2 (name yet to be determined) is in 49 days.  The timing is not great, to say the least.   But, that’s life.

It would seem that I have no choice.  And I/we don’t in the fact that we MUST move.  But, I still have choice.

The choice to let go any attachment to what I thought was going to be happening in the next few months and to create new possibilities.

I have the choice of fighting this news with anger, rage, this isn’t fairs, what are we going to do, worries, stress, you know all of that shitty, ugly, heavy baggage that we so easily throw into the mix.

I have the choice of accepting what is and moving forward with the outlook and attitude that everything is working out for the best.

And that is the choice that I am making.

I’ve come to realize lately that life is about continuously letting go.  We are constantly acquiring things and so of course we must be continuously letting go.  And not just of possessions and objects.  We are constantly taking information in, new experiences, media, so many things.  I mean really stop to think of all of the life you experience in one day, even if your days are very much the same there is so much that we are taking in, filing in, making sense of (or trying to), and assigning meaning to.

Our minds are absorbing and creating rules we think we have to follow, ways to dress, to eat, to express ourselves, ways are lives, relationships, bodies, routines, work “should” be. We get inspired by others, intimidated by others, attached to others.

I am getting a bit exhausted just thinking of it all.  Of course, we need to also constantly be letting go!  I always laugh when I am selling my products out in person and someone picks up one of my Let That Shit Go items and says oh so and so needs this.  I reply, EVERYONE needs this.  We all need reminders to let go, all the time!

Being pregnant a second time around, while chasing after and caring for my now 20 month daughter has really been a reminder in this.  Being a mom and entrepreneur period has been a great lesson in letting go, but add the exhaustion and constant changes that come with pregnancy and wham bam.

I have had to really been gentle with myself and my work goals.  There are so, so, so many things that I want to be doing that I jot down ideas for and get excited about but have to be okay with making slow progress on because getting rest and taking proper care of myself has to come first.  I have to ask myself is this something I really, truly want to do or just something I CAN do and only move forward with the things that make the most sense for my current life and the passion I feel towards doing it.

With the news of this move I have to let go of what feels like will be an easier, more comfortable future.  Something that many of us have to let go of when we feel in our hearts that we are ready for a change. This change is being initiated by someone else…but so, so many times I have been the one to initiate myself.  The making a big life change that is exciting and scary at the same time because you are leaving the comfort of what you know behind.

I am only one full day into knowing this news, so I am sure I will go on a ride of emotions and that is okay.  Feeling is good.  I see plenty of journaling (read about my fave way to journal here) and walks in my future (my favorite ways to get out of my head and work things out).  But, I also have already started to let go of possessions as well.

Every time that I have stepped into my closet I end up grabbing a piece of clothing or a few that I now finally feel ready to let go of.  Every time that I open my kitchen pantry I grab something that is ready to be let go of.  Every time that I use something from my bathroom vanity and counter, I grab something I haven’t used since I moved in, or is otherwise not going used and toss it.

I am continuously letting go and honestly it feels great. It feels freeing.  It feels empowering.  Life will work out.  Life IS working out.  Even if we end up without a new place to live when baby girl number two comes, it will be okay.  I realize that although we don’t have the biggest budget.  We don’t have regular, stable income.  We still have a lot more than people around the world.  And those people that don’t have much at all, still live life full of love and joy.


If you want more guidance on letting go, living a life of no shoulds and soooo much more, check out my Be Your Own Joyologist Program!  It is opening up again soon!

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Are your habits serving you?

Ever since  Spring came around I have been shedding more and more.  When I open the fridge or pantry to cook, I look around and pull out items that may have expired or have just been sitting unused for years and tossing it. When I wash my face or put on makeup I end up sorting and tossing things in my medicine cabinet and drawers.  When I get dressed, I pull out socks, shirts, dresses that are overworn or are never worn.

Since I have always moved around and often lived out of suitcases when I was touring, I don’t have tons and tons and tons of stuff.  But, after almost two years of living in one place that does have space, I have accumulated!

It’s so funny the things we (I) hold onto. I never, ever wear lipstick.  I never have but have sometimes attempted it, or at least attempted a more tinted gloss.  But, when I have received a FREE lipstick in a gift bag or gift with purchase I have hung onto it. Trying it on once a year and never ever wearing it.  Why do I keep it?  So all of those have officially been tossed, especially since I am sure they are past their expiration date.

Why do we/I hold onto clothes that we never, ever wear?  Likely, because I spent money on it and don’t want to feel the money was wasted?  But, how does leaving to sit it in my closet unworn for years give it value?  If anything it reminds me that I spent money, when I could just give it away to someone it would flatter, or who needs it.  So I have been doing that.

I have been asking myself more and more does this serve me?  How does this serve me?  Not just about things, food, clothes, items  that take up cabinet and closet space but about my choices, routines, and habits.

We get so used our routines and habits but how often do we question them?  Whether it be what time we wake up and what our morning before work/school routine is.  Or the flow of our weekends.  Even the people we socialize with.  What we eat on a daily, weekly basis.  What we do while eating dinner and between dinner and bed.  What we do when we drive to work.

Everything in our lives become routine.  My life has become more routine then ever now that I am settled into a home and have a toddler who eats and sleeps on pretty much the same schedule everyday.  Her dada, my partner still tours so he is gone a lot and my life falls into routines and habits.

Some of these habits were created when I was super sick and exhausted in the early term of my new pregnancy, when I could barely manage anything.  Lazy habits.

Some of these habits were created in the last 18 months with making Zia my number one priority and pushing my business, ideas, and creativity to the side.

Some of these habits were created years ago when I left the touring world to commit to working for myself fully.

So what I am now asking myself throughout the day is:

I have always been someone who thrived on change and was able to always see things many different ways.  I have always been someone who had a super strong sense of intuition and was able to tune in and LISTEN (even if it meant making big changes and “scary” choices).  I am still that person.

My life is fuller these days with a full of life toddler, a baby growing inside of me, and a partner in life.  This can make for lots of amazing distractions and forgetting to ask myself what do I want?  How do I want to feel?  Is this serving me?

The days, weeks, months pass by so fast!  And I love it, but I am ready for new habits (or bringing old habits back).   It is so empowering to question my daily habits and ask myself do I want to do this?  Does this serve me?

I am guessing we all have some habits and routines that are ready for a spring refresh!

 

 

If you are looking for a real wake up call sign up to be in the know for when Be Your Own Joyologist, The Program opens for the Spring Session!  And also one on one sessions are available again!  Contact me for more details!

 

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My top tips for getting through a hard time.

Hey there friends!  Happy March!  I truly hope that you are doing well, feeling well, and taking the best care of you.

I get that life will ALWAYS come with challenges!  Whether they be challenges while you are working towards something or challenges that pop up out of no where like health issues, car trouble, relationship issues….you name it.  Life is full of challenges.

That’s the reason I created all this with Your Joyologist, in the first place, because I saw that ALL of us need daily inspiration to keep our spirits up and remember how precious our lives are.  So that in the face of whatever challenges may come..we can life a life that we love and love ourselves through it all.

The past few months have been rough for me for many reasons and whenever I am having a rough time I like to do a few key things to help ground me and reconnect me to what matters.

1.) Take time outs to just be.  Even five minutes, preferably in nature.  Just sitting and breathing in the air and my natural surroundings with nothing in my hands, no devices, no music, no distractions (well sometimes my daughter is running around but no technology distractions).  I just lay on my back and stair up at the sky.  This small thing does wonders to rejuvinate me in body, mind and spirit.

2.) Journal.  I used to despise the idea of journaling but it really works wonders and sets me free in so many ways.  I have shared my favorite method adapted from Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages many times because it works!

3.) Connect to others. each out to friends and tell them what I am feeling and struggling with.  I allow myself to be heard and supported. Which can sometimes be challenging, but is soooo healing.  I often am not looking for advice, or encouragement or anything more than being heard.  I love to journal as mentioned, but speaking it outloud can sometimes be more powerful.

4.) Take care of myself the best that I can.  Even if I am sick, with no appetite.  Have very little time and am pulled in a ton of different directions.  I find ways to work in nutritious food and drinks and things that bring me joy.  And I get as much rest as I possibly can.

5.) Give.  Yes, giving more actually supports me and lifts me up when I am down.  Whether it be giving acknowledgments, compliments, giving items away, offering my help.  There are many ways to give.

I trust that life is always cycling and that my struggles and challenges will pass at the perfect time (most of them are not in my hands!) These darker days as always have reminded me of what is truly important to me, what to honor, and of course to always see the good.

I know that this time, these challenges are part of my story and they are helping to shape and strengthen me even more.

Thanks for allowing me to give to you!  Via my words and this special offer.

Life is working out for us all!

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Tune into you.

Am I resting because my body needs it or am I just being lazy?

This is a question that is coming into my mind frequently.  I am one week away from the halfway point of pregnancy now and I am still getting sick daily but a couple of weeks back I was starting to get my energy back.  I definitely still see an improvement in what it was…but as soon as Zia goes down for a nap or to sleep at night, my bed is where I want to be.

I put her down and go to my office to tackle my lists and barely last 10 minutes before I decide I need to get into bed.  So, I bring my computer to bed and return emails, do a few small tasks and then decide I am just so tired that I am worthless and close up the computer, put my lists and planners down and choose to purely rest (and try not to make myself wrong for it).

When I was in the first trimester it was easier to allow myself to rest.  To be okay with not getting as much done as I liked, but now it is an internal struggle.  I feel like I “should” be past this stage.  I “should” have more energy.  Or I “should” be able to push through.

The thing I have to remind myself is that it isn’t everyday.  Somedays I actually do feel good enough, inspired, alert, motivated to work through her entire nap and/or get more done after she goes to bed at night.

It is just those back to back exhausted days where I feel the battle take over.  Am I being lazy?  I really don’t think so.  I know what lazy feels like and sometimes we need lazy days, too.  Can I push through this?  I can push myself but will the work I will get done, be any good, or just half-assed, with little heart.  If I do push through will it be for my best?  Or will it make me even more tired, which will make me less likely to be present and inspired for the rest of the day and days to come.

I know that choosing rest is best and that allowing myself to rest is even more important. The stressing about if I can rest, the feeling guilty for resting, the shame of telling myself I am not doing enough is what is damaging.  The actual resting is not damaging.

When I allow myself to rest, I give myself the permission to not think about what I could be doing, which means my mind and my body gets rest…which really is what rest is right?  If we are laying down in our cozy beds but our minds are run, run, running, stressing, shaming, blaming, shoulding, THEN WE ARE NOT RESTING.

How do we expect to actually feel rested if our minds aren’t resting along with our bodies?Of course, we can’t hit a big pause on our brains where zero thoughts come in at all, but we can kick out the thoughts that bring us down.  We can slow down the thoughts.  We can tell ourselves that we are making the best choice right now.  We can do some mediation and breathing exercises.  We can minimize the busy-ness of our minds and actually allow ourselves to rest fully.

For me I find that when I allow myself to rest, when I say you know what I am spending this nap time in bed and I will get done, what I get done and if I get nothing done that is okay too, I end up being inspired to do more than I thought I would.  A release of expectations creates space for me to create.

Today, I was going through this internal battle.   I finally gave in and told myself it was okay to not do more, that it was okay to close the computer and put the lists away.  I even turned a show on to my iPad to fully commit to not doing anything and to try to quiet my mind from telling me I was lazy.  Less than five minutes into the show and the allowing myself to rest, I was suddenly inspired to open my computer and write.

When fifteen minutes earlier I was sitting on this same post page, trying to force myself to write something and couldn’t get anywhere.  I had one sentance that I wanted to write about and was just stuck there.  The forcing myself to write wasn’t working, but when I told myself that it was okay to not write.  That it was okay to not do anything.  That it was okay to rest, the inspiration came.

I believe the inspiration will always come, but when you try to force it, you won’t find it.  Not just the inspiration to write, inspiration in all forms.  If you are looking to make a change in your life, if you are in a place of I don’t know and so badly searching for what is next, pressuring yourself, it may be hard to find.  But if you allow yourself to be open, to be okay with the not knowing, instead of stressing about it, you are more available to the inspiration showing up.

Listen to your body.  Listen to your heart.  Listen to your intuition.

Tune into you and allow space.  Space isn’t bad.  Not knowing isn’t bad.  The shoulds, the shame, the worries, the stress….that’s the bad stuff.

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We are all allowed to do what serves us! We must!

My birthday is a few days away and this followed by the new year has me thinking more and more about what I want and how I want to do it.  Having my birthday 40 days after the start of the new year tends to give more time to really think about how I want my year to go.

Instead of rushing to throw out goals for 2017 after the holiday rush, I spent the last month considering, weighing things out, asking myself is that really what I want, and thinking about the hows.  Things are different now that I am a mom and have so far chosen to be Zia’s full time care and I don’t have all the time to create and work.  And now that I am expecting baby girl number two it really has me thinking about the how! (and also gave me the time to ponder more as I was too sick to get to work!)

I have always been easily distracted by what is possible.  I see what someone else is doing and think, “I could do that!”  Maybe I will do that this year.   Oh that’s a good idea, I could try that!  And on and on.  I mean, yay me that I have always thought I could do anything….but that can have downfalls!

It’s not that I am trying to copy someone else, I am not.  I genuinely get excited and inspired by what I see is possible and what works, but I know I would make everything my own way.  So my mind and journals can get filled up with loads of ideas that initially excite me, but thankfully do to the sickness of my first trimester, I wasn’t acting on anything.  So I was given the space and time to then weed through different ideas and spend time with them all. Or rather give these ideas some time to see if the excitement sustains me or if I end up thinking  and feeling meh, while also thinking about the how’s.

I know when I truly want to do something when I can’t stop thinking about it, want to do it at any cost (meaning I think more about how much I want to do it, then how much it will cost me or how much money I could make from it), and that everytime I revisit it I get a big jolt of YES!  Also, the how shows up easily for me and in a way that I am excited about, even if it won’t be “easy”.

You know that saying only do it if it is a Fuck Yeah.  It’s like that.  I don’t want to put my energy towards something that doesn’t give me that jolt.  Sure…there are often steps along the journey to making that Fuck Yeah come to fruition that do not feel like Fuck Yeah in my bones…but I let the end picture motivate me through those steps.  Because let’s be real there is no fucking way that every step along the way to your Fuck Yeah is going to be exciting and make you want to jump out of bed to get to work.

That’s where using your powerful brain muscles to remind you of the goal and motivate you to get out of bed and be excited about the work you are doing to make that Fuck Yeah happen!  Our mind’s are tricky!  They try their best to stop us, talk us out of what we want and make us feel like shit!  But….did you know they are reprogrammable? They are!  (Check out my Be Your Own Joyologist Program, it is all about reprogramming your mind and more!)  So, don’t let your mind bully you into telling you that you can’t or won’t or shouldn’t….reprogram it to support you, motivate you and inspire you.  It’s totally doable, I just had to do it myself.   While I was writing this a mean mind monster popped up to tell me that writing was not valuable enough to be doing while paying someone to watch Zia.

So, I immediately stopped typing picked up my pen and wrote this in front of me.

I am allowed!

 

The funny thing is that writing and blogging is actually a huge part of my vision for 2017.  It was one of the main things I wanted to have the time to do again while having Zia in someone else’s care.  It is nourishing to me and makes me feel more connected to myself and to all of you….but yet my mean mind tried to jump in and tell me it wasn’t enough.  So I am using this affirmation to keep me going and bring me back to my vision.

My day of rebirth (birthday)  is at the end of the week and although it is not a deadline, it is motivating me to get my shit more together as far as what my future will hold as a business owner and a mother.  I know that the things that I want to create and change will not happen overnight and that can be discouraging.  I honestly was feeling discouraged today because after making two steps last week toward my new vision I didn’t see any big change.   Um….give it some time, girl.  Keep doing the work!  I have to remind myself of the vision I am creating and how it makes me feel.  That all of these steps are part of the vision that feels right to me, that inspires me and even if I don’t see direct or immediate results how does it feel to be working on the vision, to be making these steps!

The how has also become just as important as the what, now.  I have to ask myself, sure that may be a good path for me to look into but what does the how look like?  Is it sustainable for me as the mother of kids that are not yet in school and the business owner?  What kind of help would I need?

Choices like this are always made easier when money isn’t an issue.  If I had constant, supportive, abundant cash flow this change likely would have happened sooner.  But, in running my own business I don’t have clear, consistent income from month to month and the choice of having a product line means having lots of expenses…like having to buy large amounts of product to get good pricing to be able to have products to sell!  Crazy, I know!

So this choice, this change is fucking scary.  Like, sitting in a coffee shop writing this, and crying while a babysitter that I am paying is watching Zia, scary.  I am not afraid of Zia getting good care.  I think it is great for her to be experiencing different people.  It’s all about that damn cash flow!  But this fear of not being able to afford help is not inviting the cash to flow.  I am currently on the path to reprogramming my own mind to support me in this.

If everytime I hand over money, or think about handing over money to someone I feel fear, worry and doubt I am only breathing more and more life into the fears, worries and doubts, which will not motivate me to work harder.  They will shut me down and tell me I can’t.  I am not enough.  It isn’t going to work.

If everytime I hand over money or think about handing over money, I tell myself I am abundant, I am valuable, I am supported then I will be breathing life into that mentality which will then motivate me to keep working on the vision!

I do believe in myself.  I do believe in my dreams, in my vision.   I do believe that I am valuable, that I am abundant, that I am necessary.  I can support my vision and have childcare.

What is one major thought that you want to overcome?  One that keeps popping up for you and talks you out of what you want or from actually enjoying your life or loving yourself?

Mine has been: I can’t afford help.    So of course, I couldn’t afford help….because that is what I had been brainwashing myself to believe for the past year +.  That thought is no longer allowed in my mind.  It has been officially kicked out and exchanged with thoughts that support me and my vision for 2017!

Take some time to think about it. Journal on it (I love the morning pages method) Spend a day with it.  See what shitty thought keeps coming up for you.  Take note and then take action!!!!  Create a new thought that supports you!  I of course love to make it an affirmation, starting with I am, so that I am called into it!

We are all allowed to do what serves us!  We must!  And that means kicking the shitty, mean, disempowering thoughts out!

I am excited for the changes I am committing to this year and I am excited to be back here, sharing more with you.  That is something that feels good to me that I plan to continue more in 2017!  WooHoo!

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